You must defeat Hoikuen to stand a chance

Since mentioning my trips to Hoikuen in the last post I thought I should elaborate on what a visit to these places are like , and each visit for the first month went roughly like this.....

I arrive at nine in the morning and was given cold black coffee. You need the caffeine hit to be able
to handle over 50 hyper kids!

It's like the movie Kindergarten Cop on fast-forward

At playtime I was chased by an army of five year olds on stilts, and I found out I'm not as good at Janken (Rock, Paper, Scissors) as I thought. When the kids are finished climbing all over you it's class time.

The CD player didn't work (or the CD I made didn’t work more likely), so I had to sing the alphabet, numbers and Halloween songs in my lilting Irish brogue.

During colouring time I gave the kids a choice of two pictures, a witch or a pumpkin. Only one child picked the witch. I had to ration the colour orange.

At lunch time they feed me like I'm a sumo wrestler who has just appeared after a month in the wilderness. In my first month I wasn’t as good with chopsticks as I am now, so it takes me ages to finish. Plus the kids keep talking to me about random stuff. It’s all hilarious to them, but for the most part I’ve no idea what’s going on. I always manage to eat all my lunch though, despite some of it not looking like anything resembling actual food!.

After lunch I put on my witch's hat and went around handing out Halloween candy to all the students. The one year olds were a bit wary of me with the hat on, so I took it off.... and they started crying their eyes out!

After trick or treating I high fived every student (twice!) and left the hoikuen to a chorus of ABC.

Just another morning for Garry-sensei! Then, a short rest, and off to Shogakko (elementary school). ing time I gave the kids a choice of two pictures, a witch or a pumpkin. Only one child picked the witch. I had to ration the colour orange.
At lunch time they feed me like I'm a sumo wrestler who has just appeared after a month in the wilderness. I managed to eat it all though.
After lunch I put on my witch's hat and went handing out candy to all the students. The one year olds were a bit wary of me with the hat on, so I took it off.... and they balled their eyes out!
After trick or treating I high fived every student (twice!) and left to a chorus of ABC.
Just another morning for Garry-sensei. Now, short rest, and off to shogakko.ing time I gave the kids a choice of two pictures, a witch or a pumpkin. Only one child picked the witch. I had to ration the colour orange.
At lunch time they feed me like I'm a sumo wrestler who has just appeared after a month in the wilderness. I managed to eat it all though.
After lunch I put on my witch's hat and went handing out candy to all the students. The one year olds were a bit wary of me with the hat on, so I took it off.... and they balled their eyes out!
After trick or treating I high fived every student (twice!) and left to a chorus of ABC.
Just another morning for Garry-sensei. Now, short rest, and off to shogakko.

Rudolph the Senpai Reindeer

Happy Christmas Everybody!

I teach in four Hoikuens (kindergartens) and in the middle of the month I have a meeting with the four principals where we hash out my lesson plan for the following month’s classes. Through some elaborate hand gestures and excited over-acting I show them how I am going teach the kids the alphabet or numbers or whatever. These four old ladies are really nice; they try and ask my lots of questions despite not having much English and me not having much Japanese.

I can usually make an adequate response to all the queries they have for me, but this month they asked me something that had me stumped. What age is Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer?? I just couldn’t satisfy them with an answer.

Age is very important in Japan. Children are thought to respect their elders. In companies the older more senior people are looked up to by the younger more junior members, because with age comes wisdom right? The longer you are doing a job, the better you are supposed to be at doing it, yes?

I have been asked my age on numerous occasions, perhaps it is the easiest way to place me in the hierarchy? And people will offer you their ages, even if you have only just met them. I was at a bar the other night and the barman asked me my age (not because I looked too young to be drinking whiskey unfortunately) and after I had answered he told me his age. The whole thing was bizarre, but it happens all the time.

So in the story of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, if Rudolph is going to be leading Santa’s sleigh tonight, he better be the oldest reindeer! I hadn’t the heart to tell them that Rudolph is more than likely the youngest reindeer. He should never have been anywhere near the front of that sleigh, but needs must I guess and when the weather turned foggy on Christmas Eve, then the real leader of the pack made the call to put Rudolph in that position, we shouldn’t lose sight of that. But these four ladies didn’t want to know this and were obsessed with finding out the age of Rudolph.

As I visit each Hoikuen I dress up as Santa and we sing Christmas songs, but as of yet, no one has asked me how old Rudolph is. I presume it has just become the elephant in the room when the song is played on the CD player. The oldest, most senior elephant.